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Passive Learning vs Active Learning: Which Is More Effective?

Learning has been one essential trait that sets successful people apart. Keeping yourself up to date and learning new stuff is not just a survival tactic. It is one of the few finer things of life that makes everything seem interesting and worthwhile. The more you learn, the broader your vision becomes and you realize that there is still more to learn.

But here is the catch: not everyone can learn at the same pace and reap its benefits to the maximum. It is also not assured that one technique that works for someone will work for everybody. Learning is a personal effort and the level of involvement and techniques used could greatly influence the potential benefits of learning something.

No matter what the subject matter you are trying to learn, be it theoretical or practical, there are certain common variables involved. One of those is the method you choose to learn anything. It could be either passive learning or active learning — two distinct styles of learning.

Let us look deep to understand how these two distinct modes of learning affect your learning capabilities and the knowledge retaining capabilities.

What Is Passive Learning?

Passive learning is mostly considered as a one-way effort from the learner.((IGI Global: What is Passive Learning))

In this style of learning, the learner is expected to assimilate information from the facts and details presented and absorb knowledge passively. The traditional learning approaches like seminars, lectures, textbooks, presentations, online lectures and courses where communication is mostly one-way can be considered to be the examples of passive learning.

The responsibility for understanding the material falls on the learner who is expected to be concentrating on the lessons taught and doing well on their tests.

Passive learning leans more towards the theoretical side. Assessment techniques like quizzes, exams, and handouts are used to evaluate the learning progress.

Some of the key skills that passive learning helps improve are:

  • Writing skills
  • Listening skills
  • Organization skills

What Is Active Learning?

Active learning is when the process of learning involves active participation in the form of relevant activities and discussions.((Cynthia J. Brame, PhD, CFT Assistant Director: Active Learning)) It enforces full engagement from the learner and does not rely on traditional lectures or textbook information alone.

Active learning encourages interactive learning sessions and promotes critical thinking.((J Undergrad Neurosci Educ.: Active Learning for Students and Faculty)) Some common examples of active learning include:

  • Hands-on experiments and workshops
  • Group discussions on solving problems
  • Peer discussions and instruction on lessons
  • Games, activities, and projects that aim to simplify the learning process and gain practical experience.

Active learning focuses on the big picture rather than limiting itself to the problem at hand.((Pearson: What does research say about active learning?)) It encourages lateral thinking and allows students to make connections to real-world problems easily.

Learning becomes much more than knowing stuff and is steered towards a complete understanding of the concepts in relevance to the real world.

Some key skills that active learning helps sharpen are:

  • Analysis
  • Evaluation
  • Public speaking
  • Collaboration

There is constant feedback between the learner and the tutor, allowing for a better understanding of the material and fine-tuning teaching methodologies that best suit the corresponding environment.

Active Learning vs Passive Learning

The major trait that distinguishes these styles of learning is the way students are expected to apply their thought process into learning.((Next Gen Learning: Moving from Passive to Active Learning: Four Ways to Overcome Student Resistance))

While active learning encourages a subjective way of divergent thinking, passive learning promotes convergent thinking where knowing the definite answers to problems marks the progress.

Both styles have their pros and cons. Both have certain scenarios where it is more suitable than the other.

Here’re their main differences:((University of Florida: Active vs. Passive Learning in Online Courses))

Communication

In passive learning, communication is one way. This mode is the go-to method when you are trying to learn something by yourself especially through the internet and online courses.

Self-learning is mostly a passive process that relies on the learner’s commitment. On the other hand, active learning encourages the communication between learner groups, discussions, and interactive Q&A sessions.

Control

The control of source material and learning artifacts, in passive learning, lie mostly with the educator. Learners work with what they get and are not expected to add more to the materials.

However, this is not the case in active learning where learners are encouraged to seek out new information and discuss various possibilities.

Evaluation

In passive learning, evaluation methods are defined strictly. There is only one right answer. On the other hand, evaluation methods are flexible in active learning. They are more focused on cementing the understanding rather than testing. This allows for big-picture thinking.

When a learner loses commitment, passive learning can suffer as there is very little external motivation or push to steer the learning place. Whereas active learning demands interactive effort to be put in from learner groups as well their teaching partners to be successful.

What Is the Best Way to Learn Effectively?

As mentioned earlier, both active and passive learning have their own territories where they work best.

While active learning can find positive results in a group study environment, passive learning is much appreciated when a driven learner wants to get the maximum benefits without interference.

Passive learning refocuses the learner and places emphasis on the educator and learning materials. This is much more useful when someone is trying to self-learn using books and online lectures and course materials. It involves little discussion and is more steered towards knowledge acquirement than exploration. This type of focused learning can be helpful when you are preparing for competitive exams.

Active learning, on the other hand, is best used when you try to explore more and find connections in the real world from what you learn. This places emphasis on asking questions, taking extra effort to explore and finding new materials and information.

So what is the ideal way to learn?

The best way to learn then is to find your purpose for learning and apply the style that best matches it.

If you are trying to ace a written exam or pass through a technical interview with set answers, passive learning is quite good to go.

But if you need to develop your analytical skills and find newer solutions, active learning is best advised as it provides a much richer learning experience. But active learning with no focused approach can make the learner stray off-topic.

Active learning activities must be carefully designed to provide room for exploration without losing sight of the learning progress. Hence, feedback evaluation should be a necessary part of active learning.

Memorization plays an important role in passive learning whereas memory is strengthened by association through active learning.

One has to be both a passive learner capable of collecting information from set materials and still be willing to actively explore and seek out new information to be really successful in self-learning.

Passive learning like lectures and presentations are also a crucial part of active learning environments as they are more efficient in content delivery and regulating the scope of learning.

Incorporating Both Styles of Learning

Both passive and active learning methods can be made components of the learning experience to ensure better engagement.

Some ways self-learning can be designed to incorporate both styles of learning to achieve better results are:

  • Course media like lectures and videos can act as the starting point of the learning experience.
  • A list of topics like syllabus used in passive learning can be applied and then expanded upon as required to make room for active learning as and when a new subtopic or material is discovered.
  • Passive learners can seek out peers in online forums, fellow students or experts to further gain insights into their subject matter.
  • Along with traditional evaluation techniques, project-based learning can help in motivating a self-learner to better understand the subject. Projects require active participation and make sure the learner is engaged is committed to the learning process.

When it comes to learning, it is wise not to disregard both the modes of learning. Initial knowledge transfer, obviously, requires passive learning. But gaining deeper insights invariably require more engaging active learning activities.

Apply the best methods as it suits you and be committed to your learning efforts to unlock the potential you have.

More About Learning Fast

  • 13 Ways to Develop Self-Directed Learning and Learn Faster
  • How to Learn Fast and Remember More: 5 Effective Techniques
  • How to Create an Effective Learning Process And Learn Smart

Author: Leon Ho

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7 Steps to Take When You’re Feeling Stuck in Life

Life can throw curve balls your way and challenge you even when the best of conditions have manifested in your movement through it. Whether you are a middle aged working parent, deep into your retirement, or somewhere in between, there are times when we all feel like we are stuck in our lives.

I have a strong familiarity with this feeling of low energy levels, a lacking in motivation to the point where getting out of bed can be a struggle that you are fighting each morning prior to work.

I often deal with my own struggles of feeling stuck when it comes to writer’s block. At times the words can flow out of me like lava gushing from an active volcano but in other moments, my motivational levels and willingness to engage in thought feel absolutely dormant.

What are some of the tools or techniques that one could lean on in these moments where you just can’t seem to get out of the hole you feel stuck in?

One major emphasis that I’d like to make in discussing manners to beat that feeling of “being stuck in life” is that this feeling is extremely normal. We all will experience at some point or another as we navigate this journey in pursuit of happiness.

Too many individuals experience this diminishment in encouragement and joy and allow it to alienate them from the people who care about them most. Which brings me to my first step in beating that feeling of being stuck in life.

1. Ready to Throw in the Towel? Welcome to the Club

You’ve got to recognize that this idea of being stuck is a natural and oft occurring feeling that we all experience whether in our work life, a relationship, or perhaps a scholarly pursuit or business endeavor.

You have to allow yourself the realization that life is hard and there will be days, weeks, months when you don’t feel like you have enough fuel in the tank to push onwards and upwards.

Even as I write this post, I will admit that I had that feeling of being stuck when I woke up this morning to come to work. Let me set the scene and you tell me if this sounds familiar.

Monday morning. Your alarm goes off. You begrudgingly hit the snooze and let out a sigh of exhaustion as you consider that the weekend is officially behind you and the work week is looming over you.

You pause to consider whether to go in at all before finally capitulating and dressing yourself for the day. As you drag yourself to work and take the morning drive to the office, you officially feel tired and stuck in this situation.

This type of feeling is healthy and we all have moments where there may be a lull in our work requirements, or perhaps you’ve been working an overly abundant amount of overtime, etc.

Whatever obstacles you face that are giving you this inability to get excited about your weekly movements, you must first understand that these aren’t abnormal thoughts to have and you aren’t alone in experiencing them.

If you can allow yourself that small but vital realization, then you will be well on your way to breaking out of the cycle of feeling stuck and unable to move forward in your life’s pursuit.

This brings me to step number two in breaking out of that feeling!

2. What’s the Source?

Struggle is an obstacle that will never be fully gone no matter where you find yourself in life. We all have to face an adversity at some point in life.

How you handle struggle, however, is going to be a key point in managing your emotions, temperament, and the overall outcome for your life as you try to regain your internal confidence and start breaking out of the mental chains that you’ve found yourself in.

“We act like wind-up toys, repeatedly bumping into the same walls, never realizing there may be an open door just to our right or our left,”

Susan David, a psychologist at the Harvard Medical School, writes in her book, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life.

Essentially what Susan is saying, is that we often get stuck in a situation but continue the same approaches that got us stuck in the first place, instead of searching for an alternate path forward.

Challenges throughout life are an inevitable aspect of the journey of life and so, when you are feeling really stuck in a situation that you are finding discomfort in, it is time to start a full evaluation of your situation to try and better understand what the source of that feeling is.

One thing I’ve learned in going to therapy as a manner to deal with my own struggles with anxiety, motivation, and self-destructive tendencies, is that you must first identify the root cause of an issue before you can make positive changes in a new direction.

If you are feeling stuck or in a rut, try to trace back in time and determine what got you in this mental headspace in the first place.((Greater Good Magazine: What to Do When You Feel Stuck in Negative Emotions))

Knowing the why and working to understand the internal foundation for this moment of apathy will empower you to make the changes necessary to get out of that funk and begin your climb towards a more productive self, revitalized with a strengthened energy.

3. Budget Your Time

It can become all too easy to fall into a trap of negative routines or unhealthy habits that can contribute to that lull in your life where you just don’t feel like doing much at all.

So considering the facts that this feeling is normal, and in working to identify the root cause of being stuck, you should start evaluating how you utilize your time.

Too often I hear the phrase, “I don’t have the time to work on [fill in the blank]” as an excuse that enables individuals to forgo a responsibility or necessary action and instead, slough it off and continue down a path of unproductive behavior that will only entrench the individual further into a hole that they never wanted to be in to start with.

For this reason, it is important to analyze your time usage. Create a budget for your time in the same way that you should have a budget for your finances.

I don’t just want you to make your time budget for what you want to accomplish in a week. I also think it’s important to create a time budget that accurately reflects your current week-to-week behavior.

Seeing how you are utilizing your time in the present moment might be eye opening if you have been over binging on Netflix shows, overly consumed with social media, or working yourself to death.

By creating a time budget where you set aside your hours in each day for work, for yourself, for sleep, and for whatever things you want to accomplish, you are establishing a plan that can help guide you through the moments when you’ve actually had enough and don’t feel as if you can continue onwards anymore.

Time is our most precious asset and if we waste it away without a second thought, then life will pass you by and you will stay stuck much longer than you ever anticipated possible.

By constructing a more established schedule for how you will utilize your time, you can train yourself up to be more naturally productive and disallow the creep of feeling stuck back into your life.

Take a look at this article to learn how to budget your time better: The Ultimate Guide to Prioritizing Your Work And Life

4. Talk to the Mirror

Don’t you find it interesting that so often, we can readily provide solid advice to a friend, family member, or co-worker without much reservation or issue; but when it comes to our own decisions, we often feel paralyzed and unable to make a decisive move?

I like to employ a strategy that I call talking to the mirror. Essentially, I try to step outside of my own internal monologue or perspective and give myself the sort of advice that I’m usually able to readily produce for a close friend or family member who is struggling with issues of their own.

Often times when I step outside of the confines of my own mind and feeling of being stuck, I’m able to better gauge my perspective and whether or not it is healthy or realistic.

I find that it can be even more productive when you examine your own life as an outsider and try to look forward into what your trajectory will be as a means to better analyze your path and understand how to let go of that feeling of being stuck.

By committing to such an exercise, you have the potential to increase the success of reflecting on your path through life. You also potentially learn more about yourself and why you may be feeling trapped in your current walk through life.

Mentally stepping outside of your own perspective for a moment and taking more of a third person view on your situation can be helpful. That distance from your traditional outlook can be enlightening.

According to authors Kross & Ayduk in their study of Focusing on the Future from Afar:((Emotion: Focusing on the future from afar: Self-distancing from future stressors facilitates adaptive coping.))

“Prior research indicates that self-distancing enhances adaptive self-reflection about negative past events.”

When feeling stuck, it can be so easy to allow yourself to feel down trodden and out of it from a mental perspective. This is why it is very important that you take a good hard look at your own behavior to determine whether anything you are doing either externally in your life, or internally, has a hand in the feeling that is overtaking your spirit!

Very much in line with the idea of “talking to the mirror,” you need to understand that it is important to treat yourself with the love and compassion that you deserve as a human.((VeryWellMind: Self-Compassion Makes Life More Manageable)) People will so quickly work to ensure others around them feel loved and cared for but neglect themselves in the process.

Dr. Kristin Neff, a psychology professor at the University of Texas drew the conclusion that,

“Self-compassion involves treating yourself just like you would treat your friends or family members.”

Much like the simple idea of treating others the way you’d want to be treated, it is key to have self-compassion and build yourself up with positive self-talk rather than view yourself only through a negative lens.

This is an area that we all could probably improve in. In my own life, I can often be my own worst critic. So in working to break out of that stuck feeling, try to step outside of your normal thought process. Take a good hard look in the mirror to come up with some creative solutions for yourself!

5. Distractions Can Be a Good Thing

I spend a lot of my time in the creative areas of my mind, working hard to create original music for myself at home or even working on writing for my blog. It is a healthy release for me that allows me to step outside of my normal day-to-day operation and escape in a beneficial manner.

If you are feeling stuck in a particular area of your life, then try to step away from that area for a moment and re-focus your attention on another area that gives life and energy.

When I’ve been working on one song for many weeks at a time, it helps to try and write a new song or revisit an older track to shake things up and keep them fresh.

We all have daily routines that can grow stale at times and leave us feeling frustrated. So shaking things up and finding new ways to distract your mind is a perfect way to break out of that mental cycle!

I love creating new music or works of writing but I also enjoy physical activities such as basketball, racquetball, disc golf or just going on a nice walk in the neighborhood. All of these things can help clear my mind and break me out of the mental state that will at times hold me hostage and steal away my motivation to keep trucking along at a long term goal or pursuit.

If you find yourself at an impasse in work or in life and you can’t break off that stale feeling or inability to garner up motivation to continue forward, then taking a little side quest might be just the thing to get you back on course towards your life’s goals.

It’s similar to an academic trying to solve an equation that just seems impossible to figure out. Sometimes, you have to step away and zoom out. I often get caught up missing the forest for the trees.

Taking time to distract your mind with something new can give you that motivation to then revisit what was once feeling tired and worn out, and renew your passion to pursue it!

6. Turn That Productivity Up!

Very much in line with the idea that you should find new ways to distract your mind, you should consider building on that foundation by establishing manners with which you can productively utilize your time when you feel stuck in another pursuit.

I’ve had seasons of my life where all I wanted to do was leave work, drive home, sit on the couch and waste my evening away watching the latest and greatest shows on Netflix. The problem is that this cycle of behavior was detrimental to my mental and physical health and left a lot to be desired for balance in my life.

When I’m feeling trapped at work and unable to continue down the 40+ hour work weeks that I’ve grown so accustomed to, I try to come up with some productive ways to use my time outside of work that give me something to look forward to in the evenings.

Sometimes that is as simple as playing with my daughter for an hour or more in her bedroom and letting go of the stresses and anxieties of work even if for just a brief moment.

Other times, I find projects to work on at the house such as hiding the wires behind the TV or building a new side table for our bedroom. It doesn’t take long for me to realize that when I work to find more effective manners to expend my time, I feel more fulfilled and better prepared to handle the up’s and down’s of life.

Productively using my time in the evenings after work helps to stave off any feelings of apathy or laziness that might lead me down the path of that all too familiar stuck feeling.

I’m not advocating that you fill every last minute of your schedule until your hair falls off . Don’t be that person that takes this task to the furthest extreme!

But keeping busy with productive things in and outside of the workplace in moderation can be a great way to occupy your mind. It can also help you to establish better habits in your free time that will be more conducive to feeling like you can achieve your goals and experience new found levels of success and motivation.

7. Looking Back and Looking Forward

The last word of encouragement that I’d like to leave you with is to remember that no change comes fast in life. I wish it were as easy as saying, “1, 2, 3!” snapping your fingers, and all of a sudden you feel like your best self.

But like anything worth striving towards, breaking out of a funk in your internal perspective takes time, energy, and a strong support group of friends or family.

If you attempt to break out of your feeling of stuck but seem to be failing after a short amount of time, don’t give up. Keep working at it and keep trying to adopt a more positive attitude about your situation.

I typically give myself at least 30 to 60 days to try and implement a new strategy within my approach to life. Then, pause to evaluate my progress or lack thereof. The key to success isn’t just in the doing. It is also in the analysis of your actions prior to a change, during the adoption phase of a change, and after the change has started to take root in your life.

If you fail to reflect on where you were or have been, then you will miss out on important insights into your own path through life.

Final Thoughts

We all move in different paces through the journey of life and in doing so, we will all face struggles and moments where we just want to throw in the towel. I can’t emphasize enough that these moments are absolutely normal and you are not alone in feeling this way!

You are a strong and intelligent human being and I know this because you wouldn’t have read this far along if you weren’t serious about breaking out of this funk!

Keep your head held high and don’t let the world get you down!

I hope that these steps help you to consider your own behavior and make the necessary adjustments to live a more fulfilled life. Instead of feeling stuck, you will feel empowered to be the best you that you can be!

More to Help You Get Unstuck

  • How to Get Unstuck and Get Back On Track to Achieving Your Goals
  • Why Are You Stuck? 5 Questions to Shift Your Mindset And Get Unstuck
  • How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Author: Colton Black

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7 Best Ways of Learning Effectively

You know this: continuous learning and improvement are essential to our work and life. But your time is limited and there is only so much you can absorb at a given period. How does one learn faster and more effectively?

If knowledge is power, knowing how to learn effectively is the superpower.

Being able to learn effectively means you can remember the information better and utilize it when you need to. Sounds awesome? Clearly, it doesn’t happen overnight.

However, here are 7 techniques to help you get closer to the superpower you ever wanted. Use them to absorb more information in a short time, understand concepts at a deeper level, and implement what you’ve learned effectively to accomplish success in your own terms.

1. Increase Desirable Difficulty

Like building muscles, the harder you train, the stronger you get. The same goes for learning. The harder your brain has to work to recall a memory, the greater the increase in learning.

This is what separates studying with practicing and testing. Practicing and testing do not equal to studying. They are greater than studying because it requires work to dig out the memory of what you’ve studied and learned.

To learn more effectively, stop avoiding challenges and difficulties. Instead, increase the desirable difficulties so you learn and retain the knowledge better over the long run.((Stanford University: “Desirable Difficulties” can Lead to Deeper Learning and Better Retention ))

Embrace the fear of failure to take every opportunity in gaining practical experiences and testing yourself regularly.

2. Stop Multitasking

Most people define professional capability with the ability to multitask. The same goes for learning. People think if they can learn multiple things at the same time, they can learn faster.

Truth is, multitasking is an illusion. We think we’re handling many tasks at the same time, but what we are doing is switching from one task to another.

Instead of multitasking, pick one single topic to learn and practice in a set period of time with focus and intensity.

3. Learn to Forget

The conventional learning method taught us to study and learn everything at one-go and blame us when we’re being forgetful.

According to the Forgetting Curve, we forget up to 75% of what we learned in 24 hours and 90% in 30 days without any revision.((Farnam Street: The Spacing Effect: How to Improve Learning and Maximize Retention)) It’s obvious that the conventional learning method is not the w ay to go.

Fortunately, we can improve retention by a huge degree by revision. And the more we revisit a same material, the more we memorize, the less we forget after a long period of time. So instead of studying everything in one-go, use what known as mental spacing to learn as revise in intervals.

What’s the optimal frequency? It depends on how large and complex the material is and how focus you are during the study. A rule of thumb is to revise a material at least 4 times to retain 90% of it.

4. Improve Your Sleep and Take Naps

Sleep plays an essential role in our cognitive development, which includes learning. While your brain sleeps, the flow of cerebrospinal fluid in the brain increases and clears out harmful toxins built up during your waking hours.

To improve your learning ability, make sure you get enough high-quality sleep every day. Here are 3 quick tips:

  • Get 7 to 8 hours of sleep per day
  • Optimize your room to be dark, quiet, and cool
  • Sleep and wake up at the same time every day including weekends.

If you have the time flexibility, try taking 30 to 60 minutes nap after lunch. Naps are sleeping too.

5. Make Use of the Environment

Our environment shapes our behavior more than we think or like to admit. The same goes for learning, the environment plays an important role. You can use this in two ways.

First, the environment we study and practice becomes the trigger when we’re performing. If you’re practicing for a performance, for example giving a speech, practice it in the same environment where you’re going to perform. Doing this makes practicing easier as it goes and it translates into the actual performance as well.

You can also use the environment to exposes yourself to multiple contexts when you’re learning a new concept or practicing a new skill. This helps your brain to make more connections and expand the range of mental triggers for that particular concept or skill.

6. Simplify and Teach What You Learn

Learning is not all about memorizing. Often, the best way to learn a complicated concept or subject is to simplify it. If you can’t simplify it, you don’t understand it.

Richard Feynman is a Nobel Prize-winning theoretical physicist and known as “The Great Explainer” for his ability to relay complex ideas to others in simple, intuitive ways. Most of us may not be a scientist, but his technique, known as the Feynman Technique, in doing so is useful and applicable in anything we want to learn.((Dean Yeong: Learn Anything Faster using this Technique by a Nobel Prize-Winning Physicist ))

First, choose a concept and study it. Then try to teach it, not to an expert, but to a toddler. This eases off the pressure to get everything right and helps you to revise the concept you just learned in your own words.

By this time, you’ve revised what you have already known and the process helped reveal and pinpoint the areas that you don’t fully understand. Now, fill the gaps by reviewing the materials again. Repeat this process until you can explain the chosen concept in your own simple vocabularies.

7. Get Away from an Unsolved Problem

When you’re stuck with an unsolved problem, instead of working harder, try to leave it alone and go do something else.

Getting away from an unsolved problem doesn’t mean to give up. Instead, you’re giving the brain space it needs to tap into the incubation mode to solve the problem. In the incubation mode, your subconscious mind solves the problem by picking up clues from the environment (that you missed) and breaking fixed assumptions.

The secret:

Start diving into a big project head first and stop when you get stuck. You’re not quitting, but to let your powerful mind to do its work — learning about the problem from new angles and generating a solution with the newfound insights.

Final Thoughts

There are endless ways to improve the meta-skill of knowing how to learn effectively. However, there is one mindset you need to embed into your mind before all of that:

Avoid being the smartest person in the room.

I’m not asking you to hang around with only smart people. Instead, I’m asking you to not fall prey into the Dunning-Kruger Effect and consider yourself seen all and known all.((Dean Yeong: Dunning-Kruger Effect: Why People Think They’re Smart Even When They’re Not ))

Stay open-minded, stay curious, and try the 7 learning techniques by yourself today.

More on Effective Learning

  • 7 Steps to Make Self-Learning Effective for You
  • 4 Learning Styles to Help You Learn Faster and Smarter
  • 9 Efficient Learning Habits of Smart Learners

Author: Dean Yeong

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7 Best Tea for Bloating and Stomach Gas Relief

Does it seem like every meal makes you feel bloated and gassy? Or do bloating and gas strike randomly, for no apparent reason at all?

Whatever the case, you’re probably desperate for a solution to make that nasty bloat go away.

There are many reasons for gassiness and bloating – and most are to do with your gut health.

What Causes Bloating?

Disorders such as inflammatory bowel disease (which includes Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis) and celiac disease are the most serious causes of gastrointestinal bloating.((WebMD: Why Am I Bloated?))

A sluggish bowel is also a major cause, particularly when it leads to chronic constipation. When your gut isn’t emptied often enough, your abdomen can become too ‘full’. Similarly, bloating can result from gastroparesis, a delay in the emptying of food from the stomach into the small intestine. This is often the result of low stomach acid.((The Epoch Times: Is Low Stomach Acid Damaging Your Health?))

Most often, poor gut bacteria are to blame. When ‘bad’ gut bacteria overwhelm your ‘good’ bacteria, the result is some form dysbiosis. If untreated, this can lead to Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO) (too many bad bacteria in the small intestine) or Candida overgrowth.

SIBO occurs when bacteria from one part of the digestive tract end up in the small intestine, or when the naturally occurring bacteria in your small intestine grow out of control. This imbalance of bacteria in your gut can cause bloating, diarrhea, and pain.((Gastroenterol Hepatol (N Y): Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth))

Similarly, an overgrowth of Candida albicans yeast can lead to gas and bloating. Candida yeast can usually live naturally in the gut without causing any problems – but when it grows out of control, it can wreak havoc on your normal digestive function.((The Candida Diet: 11 Candida Symptoms & How to Eliminate Them))

There may also be certain foods you are allergic or intolerant to. Wheat and dairy are some of the most common causes of bloating, along with fructooligosaccharides (present in onions, garlic, apples and other foods containing high FODMAPs).

Of course, there are times it’s really hard to avoid certain foods! For example, you might know that beans and spices give you a terrible stomach-ache, but your boss has just shouted lunch at the local Mexican restaurant… or, you know that you can’t tolerate dairy products, but your best friend has just given you a box of chocolates for your birthday.

In these cases, it’s helpful to know that relief is just a tea away!

Best 7 Teas To Reduce Bloating

There are many amazing medicinal herbs that can be brewed into a tea for bloating and gas relief. Drinking these teas throughout the day can help to relieve the pain and discomfort of digestive ills.

1. Peppermint Tea

Peppermint is a wonderful herb that has been used to treat digestive ills for centuries. This is all thanks to its active ingredient, menthol.

Menthol is what gives peppermint its ‘minty’ taste. Menthol also delivers a wonderful flavor while helping to reduce inflammation. The anti-inflammatory properties of peppermint tea help to soothe stomach discomfort that can cause bloating and gas.

Studies show that peppermint tea harbors potent antispasmodic properties, which simply means that it helps your intestines to relax. This helps to alleviate that nasty intestinal gas and bloating.

Research has also found that peppermint tea can provide an analgesic (pain-relieving) effect that help to relieve the discomfort associated with a bloated belly.((Phytother Res. : A review of the bioactivity and potential health benefits of peppermint tea (Mentha piperita L.)))

2. Ginger Tea

Ginger tea is made from the root (rhizome) of the ginger plant. It’s a spicy, warming flavor that’s both stimulating and nourishing.

Ginger is a powerful anti-emetic, which means it can help to reduce feeling of nausea and indigestion. It’s been used for hundreds of years to as a home remedy for vomiting, stomach upsets and even morning sickness.

Fresh ginger tea is especially effective in soothing a bloated tummy due to its anti-inflammatory and carminative properties. It’s also an anti-inflammatory, so it’s especially useful for IBS.

Ginger tea has also been found to help your digestive system to empty more quickly and efficiently, which helps prevent that ‘stuffed’ feeling you have after a meal.

3. Chamomile Tea

This gentle tea is renowned for soothing a sore tummy while also boosting mood! Made by steeping chamomile flowers in hot water, chamomile tea offers natural calming effects for the body and mind. It can also help to reduce water retention and improve overall mood and wellbeing.

Research has shown that chamomile is especially helpful for irritable bowel syndrome, helping to soothe the intestinal tract and ‘unclench’ those stomach muscles. It also appears that chamomile can help to combat the bloating effects caused by lactose-containing foods.

Regularly drinking chamomile tea can help to improve sleep quality and relaxation. It appears to work on a chemical level, boosting GABA receptors in the nervous system to improve your mood.((Mol Med Report.: Chamomile: A herbal medicine of the past with bright future))

4. Green Tea

Among its many medicinal properties, green tea is a fantastic digestive aid. In fact, it may be one of the best teas for your gut, thanks to its high content of catechins and antioxidants. These catechins are not only powerful scavengers of free radicals (which can damage cells), they help to soothe muscles in your gastrointestinal tract.

Green tea can also help to eliminate the build-up of gas in the intestines, which brings down bloating in your tummy. In addition, green tea helps your digestive system function more efficiently, stimulating the enzymes that your body requires to properly break down food.((WebMd: Health Benefits of Green Tea))

5. Hibiscus Tea

We tend to think of the hibiscus as just a pretty flower, but it’s also an excellent digestive tonic. It’s made by infusing the vibrant petals of the hibiscus in boiling water. This produces a fragrant, caffeine-free tea with a distinctive flavor. Some say it even has hints of cranberry!

The great thing about hibiscus tea is that it helps to balance hormones. This can reduce water retention and eliminate bloating, particularly during certain times of the month.

The high flavonoid content of hibiscus tea also helps to modulate aldosterone, the hormone responsible for regulating water intake and electrolyte levels.((Planta Med.: Diuretic effect of compounds from Hibiscus sabdariffa by modulation of the aldosterone activity.))

6. Fennel Tea

Fennel is a revered digestion aid that has been used for centuries. Fennel tea is made from the seeds of the fennel plant, which harbour a wonderfully sweet flavour similar to licorice root.

Research published in the Journal of Food Biochemistry has shown that fennel is an excellent anti-inflammatory, particularly in the digestive tract. The volatile oils in the plant have also long been used to treat digestive upset – possibly because it contains estrogen, which inhibits muscles spasms. This helps your digestive system to break down food more efficiently, without bloating.((Journal of Food Biochemistry: Chemical composition and antioxidant potential of essential oil and methanol extract from Tunisian and French fennel (Foeniculum vulgare Mill.) seeds))

Fennel’s aromatic and carminative properties also relieve flatulence, diarrhea, bloating or stomach cramps, which are often caused by irritable bowel syndrome. Fennel tea even helps to reduce acidity in both your stomach and intestines.

7. Dandelion Root Tea

Dandelion root is one of the best herbal aids for the liver. Dandelion tea can be made from the root alone, or the entire plant: roots, leaves, and petals. However, most research has been conducted on the medicinal benefits of dandelion root.

Dandelion root tea is a natural diuretic, which means it helps your body to flush out excess fluid and eliminate toxins. This goes a long way in helping to alleviate the bloating caused by tummy gas.

Dandelion root also stimulates the liver, which plays a key role in digestive function. It helps with cleansing and a sluggish liver, and encourages the secretion of bile by the hepatobiliary system. This makes it a highly beneficial aid for reducing congestion of the liver and gall bladder.

Which Is the Best Tea for Bloating?

So, which is the best tea for bloating? It’s hard to choose just one, as everyone will have different preferences and symptoms. However, chamomile tea is generally regarded as the most gentle and effective for all kinds of symptoms. It’s powerful yet soothing and has only a mild flavor.

Best of all, chamomile has the added benefit of calming the mind and relieving nervous tension, which can be a factor in stomach bloating.

Final Thoughts

While these herbal teas are all useful in relieving the acute symptoms of bloating and gas, they’re still only a temporary fix. If you find that you suffer from these digestive problems on a daily basis, it’s likely that your gut bacteria are in trouble. The best way to treat this is through diet and probiotics.

Try to remove foods from your diet that are high in sugar. Cut down on red meats

Probiotic supplements are typically available in capsule or tablet form. They’re a convenient way of delivering ‘live’ beneficial bacteria to your gut, where they can re-colonise and establish a healthy balance again.

Look for a quality probiotic supplement with a high CFU count (colony-forming units) and preferably one that contains a variety of strains: 7 Best Probiotic Supplements (Recommendation & Reviews)

It’s also important to examine your diet for foods that you may be reacting to. As mentioned above, wheat and dairy are common causes of gas and bloating, so it’s important to eliminate these first – and then observe your symptoms when you re-introduce them to your diet.

Also, take a look at the FODMAP list of foods and consider which may be causing your symptoms. Remember, gas and bloating usually has many different causes!
Author: Lisa Richards

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What Is Marriage Therapy (And How to Know If You Need It)

Relationships are complex and multifaceted. Arguments over infidelity, step-families, money, sex, in-laws, children, drug and alcohol abuse, illness, job loss, and a host of other stressors, can ignite a war sizable enough to leave profound casualties in its wake.

While some not so serious issues can be dealt with by a couple who is willing to cooperate with each other, and work hard to make things better, many more difficult situations are not that simple to fix. Under such circumstances, a valuable tool that can potentially help pull the couple out of its troubled predicament is marriage therapy, also referred to as couple’s counseling.

Thirty-two years ago, my marriage was in trouble. We had just gotten married after dating for less than a year. The relationship took an immediate hit only two weeks into dating when, my now present husband, was given sole custody of his seven-year-old son. I, too, had a son the same age from a previous marriage. Things got challenging fast. Soon, as it often happens in step-families, our new foursome split up into two camps: my husband and his son, and me and my boy. No one knew how to handle the ever-worsening familial crisis.

We tried, without success, to fix the blended family problem on our own, but it didn’t work. Things deteriorated even more when our third child came along. On the verge of divorce, we decided to give marriage therapy a try. The therapist worked with us, helped us understand what was truly happening, and offered us a variety of techniques to deal with our particular conditions. She normalized our experience and taught us better communication skills. A year later, we were doing much better, and were able to terminate our bi-weekly sessions, taking with us a set of highly-effective tools to help us should we encounter rough patches in the future.

In fact, I was so inspired by our success, that I decided to become a Marriage & Family Therapist myself.

What Is Marriage Therapy?

Broken down into its most simplistic form, marriage therapy is a helpful avenue provided by a trained and unbiased professional. The focus of a Marriage & Family Therapist is relationships. They help couples and families navigate through their most toxic impasses by:

  • processing and reframing what is said
  • assisting them in developing more effective communication skills((Habits for Wellbeing: 9 Effective Communication Skills))
  • helping them see what isn’t always obvious to the parties involved
  • providing effective approaches that aid in creating a genuine shift in the relationship.

Marriage counselors can be an invaluable resource for a couple in crisis.

For example, in our blended family situation, my husband and I believed that one of our boys was the problem. The therapist explained that the infrastructure of the family lies in the strength and unity of the couple, and if a strong and solid foundation isn’t there, the children will often misbehave.

That helped us put things into a different perspective. We shifted our focus away from our acting-out child, to our relationship. Once we knew what the problem was, we started moving forward in a more positive direction. That eventually saved our marriage.

How to Know If You Would Benefit from Marriage Therapy?

If you and your partner have been struggling with the same issue over a long period of time without getting closer to any type of resolution, then you could benefit from couple’s counseling. A trained and unbiased third party can be instrumental in reviving the relationship.

Some distraught couples often want to work on the relationship on their own, without outside interference. Typically, one of the partners feels their problems are nobody’s business. What happens, then, is that their issues are on a constant loop.

Picture a Ferris wheel. Now imagine one of your biggest problems sitting in one of the bottom carts. It’s there, up front and center, then it disappears for a little bit, only to come back around again. Without the proper help, the problem doesn’t go away; it just keeps circling ’round and ’round; hence why couples end up having the same fight over and over again.

Most people don’t have the necessary understanding to know what’s actually happening in their relationship. They might see the obvious surface layer, and think that’s the actual problem, but they’re not equipped to see the obscured underlying issue. In his book, Irritating the Ones You Love, Jeff Auerbach, Ph.D, explains The 30/70 Split. This, he says,

“…refers to the fact that our reactions are partly due to immediate events and partly due to our pre-existing areas of sensitivity. The 30/70 Split provides a clear and concise reminder of which is which; approximately 30% of the total reactions are about what just happened, while the other 70% is the result of childhood feelings, or Jars, being activated.”

A marriage therapist can help figure out the concealed issue, and steer the couple onto the right path.

There is no perfect relationship out there. When two people come together, it’s not just them; it’s their parents, their siblings, their history—good, bad, or indifferent—their traditions, and everything else they’ve acquired along the way. In any relationship, there is usually a struggle as to whose side will “win.”

For example, let’s say that recently-married Jane has always celebrated Christmas Eve with her family. John, her new husband, has always celebrated Christmas Eve with his. Now what? At this point, if both Jane and John dig in their heels, there’s going to be a conflict. But suppose that Jane acquiesces, saying, “It’s okay, I’ll see my family another day.” Even though she’s trying to please John, she may be harboring resentment at missing Christmas Eve with her family.

There’s a potential here for hurt and buried feelings. There is rarely a winner in these types of scenarios. Even if it looks like someone’s side won—John’s, for example—Jane might be left with anger and bitterness. So no one actually wins.

What to Do When You Start Going to the Therapy

Let us suppose that you and your partner agree to marriage therapy. The situation has gotten so out of hand that you both feel only a trained professional can help. That’s a smart first step. Once you do start therapy, it’s important to:

1. Set Goals

Why is this important? If you want to get somewhere, you need to know where you are and where you want to go. Setting a goal is like punching in your destination on your Google Maps.

You can do this when your therapist asks you what the presenting problem is (where you are), and on what specifically you’d like to work (where you want to go). This is the point in which you can share what’s currently bringing you to counseling, and in what direction you’d like to see your relationship forge ahead.

For example, let’s say that John comes home late every night. He gets so wrapped up in his work, he doesn’t take into account that Jane is waiting at home with dinner on the table. When he finally does get home, she’s fuming. “You’re late again! And dinner is cold! You are so inconsiderate!” she yells. John might respond with, “It’s no wonder I don’t want to come home; you’re always nagging me!”

In the above illustration, a goal might be for John to try and make it home by 6:00 three evenings a week. A goal for Jane, on the other nights, might be to just reheat his food, sit with him while he eats, and ask about his day. The goal is important because if it’s not met, then the couple, along with their therapist, can explore what got in the way. It’s a springboard from which to proceed.

2. Establish Priorities

What is valuable to one partner may not necessarily be valuable to the other one. Quite often, compromises have to be made in order to get the relationship out of neutral. When each person verbalizes what’s truly a must-have for them, the other partner needs to listen and make adjustments, so that both parties feel heard and understood.

Perhaps, for John, who might be a Type-A personality,((Simply Psychology: Type A & B Personality)) the priority is to get the majority of his work done before he leaves the office. For Jane, on the other hand, who is very family-oriented,((Odyssey: 5 Signs You’re a Family-Oriented Person)) it might be to spend more quality time with her husband.

Sharing these priorities with each other will engender a better understanding for everyone involved. The marriage therapist, working in concert with the couple, can help pinpoint where the root of the problem really lies, and what can be done about it to achieve marital success.

Knowing what the goals and priorities are in a relationship is like having a road map. It can always be a reference point.

NOTE: as the relationship evolves, goals and priorities will more than likely change. Perhaps, for a newly-married couple, the goal is to go on exciting date nights every few days. The priority might be spending every weekend with close friends. As the couple grows together, however, that may shift. A few years later, the goal might veer into one of staying home, cozying in, and watching their favorite shows. As the case may be, their friendships may take a back seat. Maybe once a month is fine now instead of every weekend.

WARNING: priorities usually do a 180 degree turn when children come into the picture.

Goals and priorities are important to have in order to make the marriage work in a more loving and respectful manner.

But What If the Relationship Is Irreparable?

What if the marriage really can’t be saved, no matter how good the marriage therapist is?

In some rare cases, marriage therapy can’t rekindle a marriage. Sometimes couples in trouble wait. And wait. By the time they get to the tipping point, it’s almost too late. I had a couple come to me as a “last resort.” They had already filed for divorce, and each had secured their own attorney. I didn’t hold much in the way of hope for the couple as there was way too much water under that bridge.

Even though not all marriages can be saved, sometimes the marriage therapist can bring about a graceful split. If there are children involved, this is a must. Break-ups do happen. Realize, however, that they don’t need to be catastrophic, hate-filled, or vindictive. Sometimes things just don’t work out; people fall out of love, or simply grow apart.

Final Thoughts

In general, couple’s counseling is a great benefit for a couple in distress. It can actually be the lifesaver they need. Having said that, couples must be open to change, and be willing to put in the necessary work. People grow intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, etc., so flexibility, and open lines of communication are far-reaching.

If you find that your relationship is in trouble, know that there’s help out there. Don’t rely on your own personal limited knowledge. You and your partner may be too wrapped-up in the ongoing drama to conceive that there is a better way.

But there is a better way. All you have to do is reach out and get it.
Author: Rossana Snee

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How to Take Advantage of the 80 20 Rule to Succeed in Life

The world of productivity has several hacks or tricks to help you manage your time. The amount of time management tactics to productivity strategies out there is both amazing and overwhelming.

Of course, to make matters harder for people, a lot of these methods have been tried by various people who have stood by them… To-do list systems, the Pomodoro Technique, Parkinson’s Law…

All of these strategies are great strategies in their own way, but one strategy stands above all else: The 80 20 rule. Out of the many, this particular strategy has been used the most and is regarded as the most helpful in developing time management and other concepts in life.

But what’s so special about this rule? How does it give you success and how do you use it? Let’s explore the specifics.

What Is the 80 20 Rule?

Many people regard this rule as the 80 20 rule, but it has a proper name: the Pareto Principle. The principle was named after its founder, an Italian economist named Vilfredo Pareto, in 1895. How it all started was when Pareto noticed that people in society were divided into two “categories”:

  • The “vital few” which consisted of the top 20 percent with respect to money and influence.
  • The “trivial many” otherwise known as the bottom 80 percent.

As he researched this further, he came to discover that this divide didn’t apply only to money and influence but other areas too. Virtually all economic activity was subject to his previous observation.

That observation being this:

80 percent of the wealth of Italy at the time was controlled by only 20 percent of the population.

Since the development of this rule, humankind has used this particular ratio in all kinds of situations. Even if the ratio isn’t always exact, we see this rule applied in many industries and in life. Examples are:

  • 20% of sales reps will generate 80% of your total sales.
  • 20% of customers account for 80% of total profits.
  • 80% of the revenue will stem from 20% of the workers.
  • And so on…

Either way, I’m sure you can piece together why people call this rule the 80 20 rule over Pareto’s Principle.

In terms of how this particular rule will be able to work for you, it’s a matter of applying this rule in our lives as I’ve said. For us to see success, the goal is simple.

We need to set it up in such a way that 20% of our input will give us 80% of our results.

Another way to think about it is we place 20% of our time on activities that give us 80% of our results in whatever area in life.

How Does the 80 20 Rule Work?

To best explain this, let’s visualize a bit.

In an ideal world:

  • Every employee would contribute the same amount of effort to work.
  • Every feature that’s released for an app or product would be equally loved by users.
  • Each business idea you come up with would be a hit.

In that scenario, planning would be a breeze. There wouldn’t be any need to analyze anything so long as you put in the effort.

But that’s not reality.

Yes, the effort is certainly an element, but what the 80 20 rule states is that everything is unequal. Invest in 10 start-up companies and you’ll find only a few will pass year two and make it big. You’re in a team of five and there’ll be one person doing more work than others.

We wish our lives are always one for one in terms of input and output, but that’s simply not true. Understanding this is key to understanding how the 80 20 rule really works.

So how does it really work?

You may be asking and it’s quite simple. It’s a matter of focusing on what’s giving you the most in your life for little of your time.

Going back to the few examples I’ve presented above, consider this:

  • If two start-ups you invested in are making it big, focus on having a more direct hand and see if you can help them prosper more.
  • If 20% of sales reps are giving you 80% of your sales, focus on rewarding those and keeping their spirits high and motivated.

These scenarios can go on and on but the idea is to place your efforts on the 20% that is actually making the difference in your life. Another term that’s good to know is the diminishing marginal benefit.

Pareto didn’t come up with this one, but the law goes as follows: each extra hour of effort or worker will add less “oomph” to your finished results.

Eventually, you’ll hit a point where you will spend a lot of time on small and unimportant details. Similar to perfectionism.

So before hitting that point, you want to have a laser focus on the most important details. From family and relationships to your work or business. Prioritize the activities that are going to move you forward the most. And be wary of adding extra time, effort, or more hands into those particular tasks moving forward.

How to Take Advantage of the 80 20 Rule

So now that you have an understanding of the 80 20 rule and how it works, what is the best way to take advantage of it?

Depending on where you are applying this rule, this can be used in all kinds of fashions.

For example, you can apply this rule to goal setting, as demonstrated by Brian Tracy in this video:

Or you can apply it in terms of general productivity as explained in this article: What Is the 80 20 Rule (And How to Use It to Boost Productivity)

The core of this rule is that it forces us to ask ourselves the questions we wouldn’t consider otherwise. It’s helping us to place our focus in the right places with regards to all things in life.

In short, the 80 20 rule places us in charge of our lives and helps us set out on our goals and dreams. With this in mind, here are some things you can consider concerning this rule.

Here’s what you can do to maximize the benefits of using the 80 20 rule:

1. Focus on Your Big Tasks First

While this is the essence of the 80 20 rule, it’s still worth mentioning. Why? Because so many of us feel intimidated by the biggest task. We instinctively avoid it and opt for smaller tasks first.

We think that if we build up enough tasks completed that we feel motivated to finish that really big one later. But that’s really false hope at work.

Once we finish off a lot of small tasks, we either feel drained or we tell ourselves we’ll do this the next day.

Instead of doing all that, bite the bullet and tackle the largest task first.

I argue this by challenging you to ask yourself this one question:

“Is the task I’m about to do the top 20 percent of my activities or the bottom 80 percent?”

I’m sure you’ve seen time and again you or other workers spending a lot of time on one task for most of the day. In those kinds of grinds, you’re barely getting ahead and have next to nothing to show for it. That’s because they’re putting all their attention on work that’s in the 80 percent.

It’s normally the big tasks that are part of the 20 percent.

Another way to think about this is that everything we do starts a habit. If every day we spend our energy on low-value tasks, we will always prioritize those.

2. Stretch This into Personal Life

While I’ve been talking about business and setting goals, remember you can use this in other areas of your life too.

Take your personal life and ask yourself some of these questions:

  • How much TV do you watch on a regular basis? What sort of shows are you legitimately into? These questions can help you in recognizing what shows you are watching purely for consumption. By applying the 80 20 rule, you can cut back on Netflix, TV or Youtube video consumption and prioritize other areas of your life.
  • What does your wardrobe look like in terms of colors? Are there specific colors that you like? Knowing what you wear most times will help you in sorting out your wardrobe significantly. It also saves you time to come up with what to wear every morning.
  • How many newsletters do you actually read? This question can help you in figuring out which newsletters to unsubscribe to and can clear up a lot of space in your inbox. It can also relieve pressure from having to check your emails constantly.
  • How much time do you spend on your phone every day? How much of that time is actually doing something meaningful? These questions can help you in clearing out various apps that aren’t helping you with your goals. In fact, this can curb the need to check your phone constantly.

Final Thoughts

The 80 20 rule is the productivity hack that many of us need and for good reason. As you can tell, it’ll help you to focus and prioritize the more important aspects of your life.

Not only that, but it’ll maximize those outputs at the same time and ensure you’re not spending too much time working at them. All you need to do is start asking questions and taking action.

More Techniques to Help You Succeed in Life

  • 16 Productivity Secrets of Highly Successful People Revealed
  • How Successful People Think: 10 Mindsets to Cultivate
  • How to Focus and Maximize Your Productivity (the Definitive Guide)

Author: Leon Ho

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Why Are You Always Late and How Can You Change It?

Turning up late is possibly the most selfish and rude thing you could do. When you are late, you are stealing other people’s time and that is something they can never get back. Steal their money, by all means, they can get that back. Steal their time and it’s gone forever.

If you want to dramatically improve your reputation professionally and personally, pay close attention to your timekeeping. When you respect other people’s time, they will respect yours.

So why are you always late and how can you change that to always being on time?

1. Poor Calendar Management

This is the most common reason for people being late. If you allow other people to schedule meetings on your calendar, for example, you are giving away control of your most valuable asset—your time. No matter where you are on your company’s hierarchy, make sure, at the very least, you have to accept invites on your calendar before they become confirmed.

Your calendar is unique among your productivity tools in that it never lies to you. You get the same twenty-four hours everyone else does and you get to choose how you spend those hours each day.

You can add dates to tasks that are not due on those dates in your to-do list manager, you cannot do that on your calendar (well you could, but that would just be lying to yourself and what’s the point of that?) This means you can instantly see when you double-book yourself or if you don’t leave enough time between meetings. It will tell you if you have left a realistic amount of time to get from one place to another because you can see on your screen where you are supposed to be next.

A trick I use, when I am asked if I can attend a meeting on a specific day, is to always reply “let me check my calendar and I will get back to you”.

I could check my calendar from my phone and tell them immediately, but I’ve made a lot of mistakes by rushing to confirm an appointment without taking an extra few minutes to check and make sure I have enough travel time between my appointments. It also allows me time to consider whether whatever I am being asked to do is something I want to do. If it is not, then I can easily decline the invitation.

2. Learn to Say No

Time tested and still the most effective way to get control of your time and not be late for your commitments. We all tend to overcommit ourselves. We want to be nice, we do not want to hurt other people’s feelings by rejecting them. We don’t want to miss out on an opportunity—the fear that everyone else knows what’s going on and we don’t. It all builds up to make us want to say “yes” all the time.

That is what causes us to over-commit ourselves, and then we find we are running late to all our events and commitments which does the reverse of what we want to achieve—have the respect of our peers.

When you start being much more objective about what you say “yes” to and analyzing whether you do have time to commit to what it is you are being asked to commit to and being willing to say “no” to many of these opportunities that destroy your ability to keep time effectively, then you will find that rather than being late all the time, you start to be the first to arrive.

That’s when your peers begin to respect you more. You have demonstrated you respect their time and in return, they will respect yours.

You need to know that saying no to opportunities and commitments helps everyone. If you say yes to something and are not totally committed to carrying through with that commitment, you are not only letting down your peers, you are also letting down yourself.

Get comfortable saying no. You will find it helps you a lot more than you think.

If you need a little help on how to say no, check out this article written by Leo Babauta: The Gentle Art of Saying No

3. Allow Extra Time to Get to Where You Are Going

This one has the added benefit of reducing stress. When you arrive early to your appointments and meetings, you get time to stop and reflect or catch up.

You can do the same with doctors and dental appointments too. Those few spare minutes in a waiting room are great places to do some focused work or reply to a few emails. It gives you some much-needed breathing room in an otherwise chaotic world.

4. Overcompensate on Travel Time

You never know what the traffic will be like and while we do have the technology to inform us of traffic hot spots today, a build-up of traffic can happen incredibly fast. One small accident could very easily add an extra thirty minutes to your travel time.

The secret is to allow for that. Give yourself an extra thirty minutes of travel time and you will gain the benefit the other side. I’ve often found myself with thirty-minutes in an empty meeting room to get on with my work undisturbed.

5. Never Be Afraid to Excuse Yourself from an Over-Running Meeting.

You’ll be surprised how easy it is and you help everyone else caught up in someone else’s mismanaged meeting. Another one you could do is to refuse to attend any meeting that does not have a clearly defined start and finish time and an agenda.

Of course, this can be difficult if it is your boss who is the culprit. But you need to get control here. If you are attending a meeting where you know the organizer regularly overruns their meetings and they are above you in the company’s food chain, then explain at the beginning you will have to leave at a specified time.

This has two benefits:

First, it alerts the organiser to the need to finish on time. Secondly, everyone else in the meeting will feel a great deal of gratitude towards you for increasing the chances the meeting will finish on time.

Never compromise here. You committed to being somewhere at a specific time. You checked your calendar, you knew when you made the commitment about the meeting and so, you have a duty to follow through with your commitment, part of which is being on time.

I’ve even been known to inform my dentist that I will have to leave at a certain time so I can get to a pre-scheduled appointment. This now means my dentist is always honest with me about how long a specific treatment will take, which helps me to make better judgments about how much time I will have before my next appointment.

If you have any doubts about whether you will be able to get to an appointment on time, don’t make the appointment. Or better prioritize your commitments. It’s far better to cancel an appointment in good time than to have everyone waiting for you.

Final Thoughts

We foolish think money is our most valuable asset forgetting that money can always be gained or lost. Unlike time, where once it has gone, it has gone for good and you will never get it back. When you understand this, you start to understand that you have to not only protect your own time, but you should respect the time of others too.

Arriving late for appointments—no matter who you are—is not being civilized. It is just good manners to show respect for people’s time and that starts by always arriving on time for your meetings and appointments.

More About Time Management

  • 20 Time Management Tips to Super Boost Your Productivity
  • 12 Effective Time Management Skills for Managers
  • 10 Effective Time Management Techniques for Busy People

Author: Carl Pullein

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How to Stop Caring What People Think and Focus on Your Needs

How to stop caring what people think of you, such a causal topic for a breezy Tuesday afternoon. To completely change how you have spent your whole life thinking isn’t easy, we are programmed to want to help, to be considerate and to gain validation from others. To stop caring what people think of you is to go against years of evolutionary training and social upbringing.

Why do we care about what others think?

There are many reasons we care about what people think of us but, I am going to start with the basics: Biology.

We are programmed to seek validation, approval and inclusion into our tribes. It is a survival instinct. Humans are pack animals, we hunt and live together for survival. So back in our caveman days, keeping in with the tribe was important because if the tribe rejects you, you are thrown out into the wilderness to face the elements and soon after, death.

But as our societies progressed to be more complex and our tribes to be much larger with better communication skills so that we could change tribes relatively safely, it became a question of pride, ego and social validation. It became less about our avoiding death and more about gaining status to a better lifestyle.

The more popular we are, the more likely we are to succeed because people are more willing to help us on our journeys. This applies to positive and negative popularity, you can inspire by fear or by kindness and it reaches the same outcome.

So how do you just stop caring what people think for the better? Since it is so hard wired into us, how do we just stop?

It is possible to do and to do it without being a psychopath but we don’t just stop one day. It isn’t a decision to just stop and then POOF, we don’t care anymore. It isn’t just a one step “Oh just stop thinking” either, it is a process of reprogramming your mind.

To stop caring about what people think of you requires you face your inner demons, take back control of your subconscious thoughts, take a look at who you are and learn a few vital lessons.

1. What People Think of You Is a Reflection on Them and Not on You

We all see the world through our own perspective and perceptions. Have you ever heard the tale of “people normally hate in others what they hate in themselves”, this couldn’t be more true.

For example, if you were to cast a negative judgement on someone because they liked to lie and tell grandiose exaggerated stories. That judgement is a reflection on your dislike for lying than it is a reflection on the person telling the story. The story could easily been perceived as entertaining to someone else, you just perceive it negatively based on your own perspective.

Equally, this is flipped. If someone doesn’t like you for a quality you have, that is a reflection on them. For example, if someone judges you negatively because you like to buy expensive watches. That is a reflection on their mindset and set of values rather than you.

When people are negatively judging you, they are saying more about themselves than they are about you. Most of the time, it isn’t even about you but redirected aggression from another area of their life and you just happen to be an outlet.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone

The more popular we are, the safer we feel in a community. We fear rejection as an evolutionary trait because to be rejected by the tribe was to be outcast and die at the hands of the elements and lions. But we have long since evolved since then, and people have gotten more complex with every passing generation. People are so diverse and pleasing absolutely everyone is an impossibility.

Take Beyonce for an example, people love Beyonce but not everyone does. Not because Beyonce has or hasn’t done anything but because she’s just not their cup of tea and that is fine. So stop trying to please everyone because you can’t, which leads us to the next lesson.

3. Be Your Authentic Self

Since it doesn’t matter what people think of you because it’s a reflection of what they think and not about you, and you can’t please everyone, you might as well be your Authentic Self.

We hear that phrase thrown around a lot lately but here is the run down. Your authentic self is the person you want to be if you had no one to please or impress. Your authentic self is the person who speaks their truth, not the doctored truth to keep the peace, says the things you really think and believe in. Your authentic self is the person you hide from the world because you are deathly afraid they will reject you.

If you embrace your authentic self and start turning up as that everyday, people will reject, people will not like you. But people will also love you, they may be new and different people, but they will love you and most importantly of all, you will love you because you are living your truth.

4. Are People Even Paying Attention to You at All?

People are selfish, we spend a lot of time worried what people think of us but most of the time, they think something, forget about it and move on. They are barely paying attention to why they are thinking that, let alone the small judgement they just made.

Most people are made up of recycled ideas they were taught from people they respected growing up, their parents, teachers, the cool kids at school. Take a moment to take in the fact that you are the most important person in your life, not in theirs.

5. Listen to Your Judgements

I think one of the main reasons we are all so concerned with what people think of us is because we are surrounded by negative media always objectifying and criticizing anything and anyone. No one and nothing is safe from the unrelenting cruelty of the media.

As a result, we are programmed to make similar judgements because it is the main input of information in our lives and we want to go with the crowd and nothing screams conform to society like news outlets.

Because we make these mean and cruel internal judgements that we apply to people, we assume other people are doing the same, which they are and as a result, we are all comparing each other to the impossible standard. We feel miserable, depressed and unworthy because we think everyone thinks we aren’t good enough but the problem starts with us.

We also think these thoughts of other people, to begin the process of change you have to stop the unnecessary judgements on other people. Their bodies, their choices, their fashion accessories.

Take responsibility for your internal talk and when a pre programmed negative judgement like “Oh that person is so fat, they should go to the gym”, you correct yourself because…

6. It Is None of Your Darn Business!

You see the world through your own perceptions but your perceptions aren’t truth. They are your truth but they aren’t everyone’s truth. You can see a curvy person in the street but that doesn’t mean they don’t go to the gym. That judgement might be a reflection of your insecurity about the lack of time you spend in the gym.

Humans are curious and I dare say it, nosy. We are nosy and we need to keep our noses in our own business, sorting out our own mindsets rather than happily getting into other peoples business and telling them out to live their lives.

7. This is Your Life, Yours!

No one has walked in your shoes, no one has seen what you have seen. You aren’t comparable to anyone, so stop comparing yourself to others.

If you find yourself thinking, “oh this person is better than me or this person has suffered more than me therefore I should be something else” STOP. You don’t have to be anything but yourself and no one compares to you. When you do find yourself comparing, remind yourself that you don’t compare.

8. Rewire Your Brain for Positive Thinking

We all overthink and it is easier to think negatively than it is to think positively. Start catching yourself when you start to overthink and imagining the worst scenarios.

I know you think you are protecting yourself so you won’t be blindsided but, it doesn’t help anyone because honestly, most of the time it doesn’t even happen. You just sit torturing yourself.

If you think something is really wrong, you will know in your gut; and if your gut says so, go deal with it immediately, don’t sit and over think it. Handle it.

9. Focus on Your Needs

By cutting out all of the internal negativity, you have the opportunity to start focusing on your needs — who you are and what you need and connecting with you authentic self.

To start focusing on your needs, take back control of your life. Having been living life to please people isn’t your fault, we are raised wanting to please our parents so we received rewards. Pleasing people gives you rewards in the form of love, compliments, toys and food.

But now, it is time to focus on what rewards you want from life and you can’t find them in another person. You are the one who has to provide the love for yourself, compliment yourself, buy yourself nice things and feed yourself good foods. We always want to be taken care of because it is safe but, it is time to take care of yourself now. I assure you, once you get used to it, you will feel safe.

Start by focusing on what you need in your life. This doesn’t just mean what you need emotionally, it also means spiritually, financially, house decorially. What is it that you need to work on to make you feel safe and complete?

Start Working Out What Your Needs

I will start with 5 things you can do to start working out what your needs are:

1. What things do you value most in your life?

Is it family? Is it honesty? Is it success? Find what you value, make a top 5 list so you know what you want to focus on in your life.

2. Spend time with people that like your authentic self.

People who know who you are and what you really want, they can offer great judgement free reflections.

Remove anyone in your life who makes you feel ugh, you don’t have to be around them and it only brings you down. (In regards to bosses and colleagues, please refer to my other article on how to deal with them)

3. Clear up your environment.

As I mentioned earlier with the media bombardment of negativity, your input into your life greatly affects you.

Cut out the negativity or anything that makes you feel worthless, and surround yourself with things that make you feel safe and abundant. Throw out all that clutter that brings you down, block all those negative Nancys on facebook or those people that trigger your insecurities and focus on you.

4. Quit social media for a moment.

We spend all day scrolling looking at other people’s amazing achievements and in our heads, we assume everyone is doing better than we are.

Until you feel a little more secure, stop the comparison train at the source and pick up a book or start a new tv show instead. When you feel ready to come back, delete all of the people who bring you down or trigger you to feel insecure. Make sure your feeds are filled with nothing but positivity and productivity. Putting yourself down is a waste of everyone’s time.

5. Stop this internal nonsense that you aren’t good enough.

If you are struggling with it, you need to find a way to correct yourself, learn how to deal with these kinds of thoughts.

You can try affirmations, meditations or one of the many options available to you if you just took a moment to look, instead of scrolling on instagram, comparing yourself to photoshopped models or successful entrepreneurs.

Final Thoughts

Life is too short to spend it constantly letting your own inner self talk and the negative judgements of others bring you down.

Caring what people think of you is within your control, I know it doesn’t feel like it but it is. You can’t control what people say out of their faces, but you can control your reactions to it, the negativity you put into your head and how you talk to yourself and about others internally.

Like I said at the start, there is no easy answer, it is a process of learning a new way of thinking that challenges your biology, your upbringing and your mental psyche. But if you do commit to change, you will find your life will swiftly fall into place because you get to be unashamedly you.

More About Self-Worth

  • The More We Compare, the More We Lose Ourselves
  • How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)
  • How to Raise Your Self Worth and Trust Yourself More
  • How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others & Celebrate Your Uniqueness

Author: Jade Nyx

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How to Master Your Management Skills and Build a Strong Team

Whether you work as a manager or not, you need strong management skills. Editors work with writers every day. Developers and designers have interns to lead. Even stay-at-home parents have children to raise and inspire .

In each of those roles, management means more than getting the work done. I’ve surrounded myself with some of the top sales speakers in the world and a message I always hear is that great managers focus on taking care of their people. They delegate strategically and set the example for how the team should interact.

What makes a great manager? Either in school or through practice, managers must learn a series of principles and management skills.

The Principles of Management

Leaders may have different styles, but their management skills rely on the same foundation. In the early 20th century, French engineer Henri Fayol laid out 14 principles in his book General and Industrial Management that are still taught today:

1. Division of Work

On every team, members have different abilities. It takes real management skills to divide work in a way that maximizes workers’ strengths while shoring up their weaknesses.

2. Authority and Responsibility

Every member of a team is responsible to some degree for its success. To hold everyone accountable to his or her responsibilities, management must have the authority to order, reward, and reprimand as necessary.

3. Discipline

Disciplined team members obey orders when they can and respectfully explain themselves when they can’t. Managers with discipline actively grow their management skills and hold their teams to account. Without discipline, teams fall apart.

4. Unity of Command

To avoid confusion, team members must take orders from and answer to one person. When multiple people are in charge, conflicting commands are inevitable.

5. Unity of Direction

To be a team, all members must be rowing in the same direction. Managers need to set clear objectives and develop a singular action plan.

6. Subordination of Individual Needs

Teams fail when members serve their own interests. Workers and managers alike must put the needs of the group above their own, including the individual interests of the manager.

7. Remuneration

Managers must recognize workers for the contributions they make. Not all remuneration is monetary. In addition to financial compensation, managers can use compliments, titles, and privileges to make employees feel appreciated.

8. Centralization

On small teams, all decisions may be made by a single person. But on larger ones, executives may craft the high-level vision while leaving the implementation details to lower and middle managers.

9. Scalar Chain

Teams need structure. Especially if decision-making is decentralized, a chain of command should exist from the c-suite on down. Members must bring concerns directly to the link above them.

10. Order

Chaos is the enemy of management. Managers must provide order across multiple axes: social order, an orderly work environment, and orderly processes for completing work.

11. Equity

Teams don’t survive when their members don’t treat one another fairly. Managers must be kind and avoid playing favorites. Workers must be respectful of one another and their manager, even when the work is difficult.

12. Team Stability

Too much turnover compromises the competency and efficiency of the team. Managers must minimize disruptions by putting the right people in the right roles.

13. Initiative

Every member of a team has to be involved and interested in order for the group to do its best work. Managers must encourage employee initiatives, even when those new ideas conflict with existing ways of doing things.

14. Esprit de Corps

Roughly translated to “team spirit,” espirit de corps describes the importance of morale to a high-functioning team. By cultivating buy-in and unity among workers, managers create trust and culture.

Managers don’t spend their days memorizing those principles, of course. What they do is build management skills, through experience as well as through continuing education, that help them put Fayol’s 14 principles into practice.

The Core Management Skills

Ask ten different managers what the most important management skills are, and you’ll get ten different responses. But you can bet the following ones will be popular answers:

Problem Solving

Managers solve problems that executives don’t want to deal with and everyday employees aren’t equipped to deal with. Those problems typically fall into one of three buckets: people, product, or process problems.

People problems concern team dynamics. When two workers on a team can’t seem to get along, it takes strong management skills to sort things out. Although executives typically handle high-level product strategy, they leave product problems like bugs and interface updates to managers of technical teams.

Process problems are the most common issues managers deal with. Customer complaints that fall through the cracks, copy mistakes that wind up in published content, and leaky sales pipelines mostly fall to managers.

Although every manager has his or her own preferred problem-solving techniques, there are a few common ones:

  • Ask “why?” What caused the problem in the first place? If you couldn’t sleep last night, the reason might be that you drank too much coffee. The solution, then, may be to cut yourself off at noon.
  • Brainstorm as many solutions as possible. Silly or simplistic answers are sometimes the best ones. Challenge yourself to spend five minutes ideating answers to a complex problem, refraining from judgment until after your timer goes off.
  • Change your phrasing. The way you discuss a problem influences how your team sees it. Use phrases like “What if,” or “Imagine” to convey possibility. Avoid terms like “impossible” or “too difficult.”

Listening

The best leaders are listeners. Although someone has to give the orders, those with real management skills listen to others’ ideas and concerns before they make a decision. When that choice does not line up with their workers’ suggestions, effective managers explain why.

Just as importantly, managers must listen to those above them. In a hierarchy, each link must carry out the orders of the person they report to. To lead their own teams effectively, managers need to understand the goals and wider plans of company executives.

Great managers also soak up ideas from people who aren’t on their team. Teams — even diverse, large ones — are bubbles. Ryan Hawk, who operates a podcast called the The Learning Leader Show, maintains a database of career and life advice that I really like that’s helped me become a better listener.

In a journal or a private document, keep a running list of the best ideas associated with each group. Record insights and suggestions for improvement from your workers. Take notes on executive conversations about improving your management skills. Jot down bits of wisdom that motivate or inspire you, regardless of who said them.

Communication

Listening is only half the picture; managers must communicate openly and regularly up and down the chain of command.

When managers face a challenge that surpasses their management skills, they speak up to their superiors. When a team member keeps making the same mistake, they say something rather than let it slide. When a customer emails or asks to speak with them directly, they respond in a timely and professional manner.

Managers need to be masters of oral and written communication. Becoming a better verbal communicator is really a matter of three things:

  • Managing non-verbal cues. Making eye contact is a sign of respect and a request for the listener’s attention. Smiling makes people want to hear what you have to say. Fidgeting, on the other hand, indicates disinterest or a lack of confidence.
  • Being direct. Avoid going off on tangents or beating around the bush. Making your point in as few words as possible creates clarity and demonstrates respect for others’ time.
  • Using appropriate vocabulary. Be precise in your phrasing. Don’t call a catastrophe a mistake. Don’t use a phrase like “myocardial infarction” when “heart attack” will do.

The last two techniques also apply to written communication. To build your writing and management skills, read and write regularly. Emulate your favorite authors; chances are, they use the conversational-yet-professional style that you aim for in your own emails and memos.

Delegation

The whole reason managers are given teams to lead is so that they can accomplish more than they’d be able to as individuals. That’s why valuing time((Calendar: The Value of Time)) and a focus on delegation is among the most important management skills.

After you’ve decided which tasks to delegate — which should be any that your team members can do better than you — determine the recipient. The delegatee’s technical skills should align with the task, but so should their temperament and soft skills.

Then, trust your team. As long as you’ve provided clear instructions and a deadline, you shouldn’t need to check in before the project is due. Publicly compliment and reward team members once the work is done.

Learn more about how to delegate effectively in this guide: How to Delegate Work Effectively (Step-By-Step Guide)

Motivation

Of all the key management skills, motivation may be the most difficult to learn but also the most important one: 9 Reasons Why Motivation Matters in Leadership

How do you inspire someone to do what might be tedious work day in and day out?

For better or worse, there’s no one-size-fits-all strategy. People are motivated by different things. Raises and bonuses might light a fire under one person, while more paid time off might be the best reward for someone else.

Those with the best management skills use carrots liberally and sticks sparingly. Unless rewards aren’t working to change someone’s behavior, don’t punish them. Remember that if you aren’t ready to fire them, you have to maintain a positive working relationship.

Performance improvement plans are a good intermediary step. If the problem isn’t corrected after three or so months, then perhaps a demotion or pay cut should be on the table.

Final Thoughts

Strong teams don’t build themselves. Only leaders who understand both the principles and key management skills can turn a handful of employees into a well-oiled machine. Learn them, and you’ll have made more of a difference than any new marketing strategy or product feature every could.

More About Team Management

  • 10 Ways to Improve Team Management Skills and Boost Performance
  • 10 Essential People Management Skills Every Manager Needs
  • Leadership vs Management: Is One Better Than the Other?

Author: John Hall

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How to Break Free from Negative Thinking for Good

“I’m not good enough to accomplish this.”

“They won’t like me. I’m too ugly to be around them.”

“I won’t ever be able to get out of this situation.”

Negative thoughts, such as the examples listed above, can make us feel as though we are never truly enough to change our lives. Whether we believe that we are not good looking enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, or something in between, we are always right.

How we see ourselves dictates how we lead our lives. This simple truth, while it is currently impacting your reality in a negative way, is actually good news. Why?

You can change your thinking, and when you can change your thoughts, you can change your reality.

Put simply, if you start to believe and feel like you are good looking, intelligent, wealthy, or other things, you begin to see yourself in that light. If you tell yourself that you are capable of achieving greatness, you will eventually get there!

That said, many find themselves wondering what to do when they get stuck in negative thinking. Are you tired of letting your negative thoughts run your life? Do you want to take control of how you feel and put yourself out there?

If you want to start writing your own narrative, let’s learn more about negative thought cycles and how you can change your own internal voice.

Where Do Negative Thoughts Come From?

You aren’t going to wake up one day and find that you are suffering from random negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are often a mix of ideas that we develop on our own as well as ideas that we may have gotten from others.

For example, if you are constantly watching media where individuals are depicted as having thin bodies and perfect skin (and you do not have the same characteristics as those who are traditionally considered to be beautiful), you may come to the conclusion that you are not beautiful or deserving of love.

This is far from the truth, but your own take on how the world works can play into how you feel about yourself.

Equally harmful, the opinions of others can start to affect our self-perception. If several people tell you something negative about yourself, you may begin to take these opinions to heart, telling yourself the same things over time. This self-belief then becomes the model for how you live.

More often than not, the reality is that individuals who lack confidence and self-esteem are going to develop negative thought patterns.

This does not mean that confident people do not face internal crises of their own. After all, everyone prone to experiencing a negative thought here and there. However, those who are self-aware and confident are able to bounce back from these thoughts and return to their truth.

Those who do not think highly of themselves, on the other hand, are going to keep believing the negative thoughts that come into their mind. The issue? These negative thoughts turn into a repetitive cycle that becomes harder to break over time.

When you tell yourself something for months or years at a time, it can be difficult to transform that internal dialogue into something more positive and realistic. But is it possible? Absolutely!

The Importance of Quitting Negative Thinking

Beyond low-self esteem, there may be mental health-related causes behind your negative thought patterns, like depression. One of the major symptoms of depression is, you guessed it, negative thoughts. Depression can make us feel unworthy of love and life, even if we have everything we could wish for.((Psychology Today: Stuck in Negative Thinking? It Could Be Your Brain))

You may be struggling with anxiety instead, which can paint uncertain visions of the future and leave you anticipating the worst long before the moment has arrived. Some people have anxiety about the present or will return to past moments where they feel as though they failed, which affects their feelings about who they are or who they will be.((Healthy Place: What Is Negative Thinking? How It Destroys Your Mental Health))

Having mental health issues can make your situation more complex, but it is important to know that these types of health issues are highly treatable. You are more than deserving of self-love and getting help is the first, most important step of your journey!

How to Break the Cycle of Negative Thinking

In order to overcome your negative thoughts, you are going to need two things: self-awareness and a willingness to love yourself. Once you are armed with these two tools, take a look below to learn more about how you can break free of the cycle of negative thinking.

1. Become Aware of the Thoughts That Are Affecting You

Negative thoughts are hard to catch because they have a tendency to become a part of who we are. These thoughts build our belief system and go unchallenged even when they pop up daily.

All change begins with awareness. Whatever it is that you believe about yourself, take the time to pay attention to your own dialogue. What are you saying to yourself on a regular basis? How does it make you feel? Is any of it true?

When these thoughts are brought to your attention, you begin to notice just how often you are saying these things to yourself. Once you’ve cultivated awareness around these thoughts, you can begin to develop the change that you want.

2. Learn to Accept Them As They Come (and Move on)

A lot of people believe that you have to completely remove negative thoughts from your life in order to be happy. Not only is this not possible but it’s also not true. You are going to experience negative thoughts regardless. It is what you decide to do with these thoughts that matters.

Next time a negative thought comes into your mind, treat it like a passing car. Acknowledge it and let it pass you by. Don’t try to wave the driver over to you. Don’t continue thinking about once it has passed. Just let it go.

Giving power to your thoughts allows them to have control over you. You can’t stop a negative thought from entering your mind, but you always have the power to let it go!

3. Challenge Your Negative Thoughts

Our own beliefs play on a loop, telling us certain things over and over again. While it’s important to let go as was mentioned above, it is also important to get to the root of these issues and figure out where they are coming from.

Let’s imagine that you are telling yourself you are stupid throughout the day. If you notice this pattern, ask yourself: Does this have any basis in reality? Am I really stupid or am I telling myself this unnecessarily? Is there any evidence to support this?

Challenging your negative thoughts will help you to realize that they are highly-exaggerated and untrue. This gives you the opportunity to transform these negative thoughts into positive ones that resonate with you.

4. Replace These Thoughts with Kinder, More Realistic Alternatives

Anything that is broken must be replaced. The broken record playing on a loop within you can easily be changed to a tune that you can actually sing to.

Whenever a negative thought comes up, take the time to stop yourself and think of something positive to put in its place. If you find yourself saying, “I can’t do this”, try telling yourself that you are more than capable instead.

Keep in mind, however, that you need to tell yourself things that you truly believe. If you start telling yourself things that don’t resonate with you and encounter a situation that proves your belief wrong, you may do more harm than good!

Bottom Line

Changing the way you think is a rigorous but rewarding process that will change your outlook on life. If you find yourself struggling with negative thoughts, learn more about where they come from and how you can stop them for good with the guide above!

More About Positive Thinking

  • 10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts
  • 5 Steps to Cultivate a Positive Mental Attitude
  • Why Negative Emotions Aren’t That Bad (And How to Handle Them)
  • Why Negative Self Talk Is Bad for You (And How to End It in 3 Steps)

Author: Dylan Buckley

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